A city without lights.. You have to get passed the ugly to see what lies within. 

Success

I was in one of the classes a week or so ago & my teacher asked the class to write a short paper on what success is to us. And who we wanted to become in order to make ourselves feel successful. And while most of the people in my class wrote about wanted a nice house, with nice cars.. I couldn't seem to convince myself that money was what would make me feel successful. It just wasn't right. So I thought, and thought, and this is what I came up with..

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen  & on my paper I simply wrote "I want to be happy." And turned it in. I think I fully understood that assignment, and I'm expecting a really good grade. 

Yes. It's that simple. 5 words. "I want to be happy." That is success to me. Happiness comes from a lot of things. To be truley happy, takes a lot. I want to stay healthy. I want to live out a comfortable life. I want to marry one man, and remain in love with him for the rest of my life. I want to get old, and I want to watch my grand kids. I want to die with a happy heart. No burdens. And no weight on my shoulders. I want my future kids to live a life like I have. I want to give them everything my parents have given me. I want to enjoy going to work. I want to keep great friends. I want to enjoy all the little things in life..

.. I want to be happy. 

When you can't sleep, rebel. 

Your politics are incorrect..

So, as I was driving to school the other day, doing my usual observations of ALL my surroundings. (Yes, I'm pretty sure I suffer from ADD) when I noticed something that really got my mind going & the more I thought about it the more it grinded my gears, so I'll share it with you guys.. Here goes..

I got stuck behind this vehicle, an SUV of some kind. And no, I'm not here to bitch about how unrealistically slow this guy was driving, I'll save that for another time. So while I was behind this guy I decide to check out his numerous bumper stickers on the back of this persons vehicle. So I looked at his cheesy "stick family" sticker & the numerous stickers that represented the places he had travelled to on vacation & then I saw it.. A "McCain for President" sticker loud and proud on the back windshield. Oh my lord. Really? I'm all about expressing your opinion. After all, I own I blog. That's what I do. But that election took place my FIFTH grade year. FIVE whole years ago.  Yes, I'm only in tenth grade in case you didn't already figure that out. But, back to my story (see i told you I had ADD) This bumper sticker was picking at my nerves. I wanted to grab the man driving that vehicle and shake him. I wanted to explain to him that it was too late! That They're hopes and dreams had been crushed because that election is over and it's time to remove that sticker! The "McCain 'Plane'" has taken flight and is probably at the bottom of the ocean.. (Too soon? Sorry) ((Malaysian joke)) 

So anyway, to conclude my rant, here's a friendly tip from me to you. If your one of those people with an old, irrelevant sticker on your car REMOVE IT. It's in the past now and you're guilty of extreme POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS 

These lyrics are seriously the anthem to my life. Growing and learning. I love this. 

Feeling my way through the darkness

Guided by a beating heart

I can't tell where the journey will end

But I know where to start

They tell me I'm too young to understand

They say I'm caught up in a dream

Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes

Well that's fine by me

So wake me up when it's all over

When I'm wiser and I'm older

All this time I was finding myself

And I didn't know I was lost

I tried carrying the weight of the world

But I only have two hands

Hope I get the chance to travel the world

But I don't have any plans

Wish that I could stay forever this young

Not afraid to close my eyes

Life's a game made for everyone

And love is the prize

So wake me up when it's all over

When I'm wiser and I'm older

All this time I was finding myself

And I didn't know I was lost

Didn't know I was lost

I didn't know I was lost

I didn't know I was lost

I didn't know (didn't know, didn't know)

The Lost and Found

In need of a break. Not a physical break, a mental one. I was tired, but not exhausted. My mind was worn out. My emotions, drained. I had nothing left to do, but walk. So I did. I walked farther than I ever had on any of my previous adventures. I started on my dirt road, alone. It was a fall day, the autumn leaves danced through the air landing at my feet as I walked. I noticed this because I walked with my head down because of my sorrow, counting my steps and clearing my mind. I lost track of where I was going, and I didn't care. 

Next thing I knew I was in the woods, and after all the times I had walked those same woods before something was different this time. The air was fresher, everything was still, with the exception of the falling leaves which were still dancing to my feet. The trees stood tall and proud. Surrounded by shades of orange, brown, and red. No animals were to be seen or heard. It was almost like I had my own world. Just for me. I took a breath, and with that breath, every bit of stress that had caused me to take this walk in the first place left my body. Full serenity. Total bliss. Carelessness. 

Then suddenly I looked to my right, and notice what seemed to be a clear spot in the woods. I ventured over to stepped onto a path. It was a perfectly straight path, and i could see what seemed like miles when I look in one direction. I paused, debating wether to continue on the fallen leaf covered, moist, "never ending" path or to turn back, and return home. Something in my head told me to take the path, as if the little voice in my head knew i would discover something interesting on this path, or learn some sort of lesson. I don't know. So I walked, one foot in front of the other for a while. And then suddenly, the path split. Giving me a choice, right or left. As I contemplated which path to take, I observed each of them carefully. And on the left path I see something sparkle from the last few rays of sunshine pushing it's way through the tree tops. I got closer, realizing it was a key. The key looked old and worn. It had some rust beginning to form on it. And it was large. Almost like a key for a castle door, but my curiousity was bigger than the key, so I picked it up. And carried on down the path that I found it. I only walked a few minutes when I noticed something strange. On top of a tree stump sat a cup. Almost as if I was meant to see it sitting there. I stopped and observed the cup closely. It was a somewhat small cup, made out of tin. It was painted white, but the paint was chipping. It seemed old, considering tin cups are more a thing of the past, but it looked well kept. Almost like someone had just recently left it there. Almost like it was there for a reason. Instead of doing like I did with the key, I left the cup. Something told me that it was meant to be there. Maybe someone left it as a mark for where they had been. And maybe someone who needed it would find it one day and use it. I had no business with it, and I moved on my way. 

I continued walking, still observing and wondering about the key. I kept looking at it, playing scenarios in my head trying to figure out what it could possibly unlock. And then suddenly I saw a bridge, an old swing bridge that looked like it had been there for ages. The bridge hung over a huge gap in the land, there was no water under it, just a canyon in the woods. I stepped on the bridge, considering that it might not be safe. But I felt fearless. I felt like if I stopped my journey there I'd be passing up something that I'd never get the chance to do/see again. So I brought my other foot onto the bridge and took my first step. Then my second. The bridge swayed left and right vigorously making it hard to keep my balance. I was half way there. I took a step and as I placed my right foot onto the next board, it gave it and I fell through. My heart raced but I reacted so quickly that I caught myself and pulled myself back up. As I caught my breath I checked my pocket to make sure I hadn't dropped the key. And thankfully, it was still there. Nervously an carefully I tiptoed my way across the rest of the bridge with no issues, other that the constant swaying of course. 

Surprisingly I hadn't grown tired yet. And the sun was still pretty well risen. So I still walked, slowly and calmly. I started to hear a faint babble in the distance.  Almost like running water. I kept my eyes peeled, trying to find the source of the noise.  And then I found it, it was a small creek. With clear water that flowed lightly, just enough to make that faint noise I heard. The water was shallow and the sound was relaxing. I sat for a minute, and listened to the water roll over the rocks and trickle down the tiny waterfall that was right in front of me. It was peaceful, but I needed to move on on my adventure. I stepped on surfaced rocks to cross the river. I didn't want to get wet because the wind was chilly, and the water was cold. I skipped across the rocks without a struggle. I felt like a kid again, and i giggled as I danced across the creek step by step. 

When I got to the other side of the creek I peered forward and noticed something right ahead of me, but I was covered by some trees so I couldn't make out what exactly it was. I ran up to it, and realized I had stumbled upon a cabin of some sort. There were no lights on, and I tried to knock but no one came to the door. I searched around the porch looking for a spare key and I found one. I entered the cabin and found all sorts of furniture and the place was clean. I assumed it was a summer vacation spot for someone. I are some food out of the fridge and then sat down on the couch. The sun was beginning to set, and I knew i didn't have time to get home before dark, so I decided to take a chance and stay the night. After all, I was done my journey quite yet so I figured I'd start tomorrow. I drifted off to sleep, and dreamed of what I might find the next day. 

When I awoke I set out on my journey again, locking the door to the cabin and putting the key back in it's rightful place. I got back on my path and started walking, listening to the morning birds. The light was still dim because of the canopy of trees above me. I stubbed upon a fence, it was old, metal and rusted. I looked over it and saw that on the other side there was a huge open field. Glimmering with sunshine and morning dew on the grass. I knew this would be my last stop. I hopped the fence and frolicked into the field where the rays of sun hit me, making my whole body warm. It was gorgeous. As I walked across the field I observed all my surroundings because I was amazed by house gorgeous the landscape was. It looked almost like something out of a picture book. I was basking it beauty an didn't pay a bit of attention to my footing when suddenly my relaxing moment was ruined by me tripping over something sticking out of the ground. I turned to check it and I noticed a handle popping out of the dirt, so I began to dig. Under the layers of dirt was a suit case with a lock on it. I was disappointed because I was unable to open it, and then I remembered my mystery key. I knew it was a long shot, but it was my only choice. I grabbed it out of my pocket an gave it a shot, and magically it worked. I had to take a second look because I was amazed at the fact that I actually got it open. On the inside was nothing but a letter. And the letter said..

"I saw you struggling, I knew you were tired and needed a break. That little voice in your head telling you to keep going, that was me.  I'm your guardian angel, and I knew you had no one to run to, so i took control. I'm here to let you know everything is okay, and you can handle any task. Sometimes life gets rough, I know. But in those times, all you need to do it walk, because I'll walk beside you."

I love this so much..